Fathers Day #1 – Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.
From the moment I met my son for the first time, 4 weeks ago now, I was propelled into a new life position of “Father” or Papa, as my preferred designation will be. There is very little training for this position, no prior experience, and high expectations from not only myself but also the people around me. But I have been told by others that, although challenging, it is also a very rewarding position, being a part of the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual development of a new human being. Even after my first month as a “Papa”, it is still incredible to imagine how 8 pounds 9 ounces has changed my life forever.
Arlo Stone Davies was born at 7:01 am on Friday May 17th in Sechelt Hospital. I helped our midwife with his delivery, while supporting my amazing wife Emily through the pain of a drug free natural child birth. In the process of preparing for his arrival, we reviewed a lot of printed resources, did online courses and took our local public health prenatal classes, but nothing can really prepare you for going through labour and delivery, like experience. In fact the best advice we received, is that everyone is different and every birth is different, so hope for the best and prepare for the worst, which is sound advice for a functional naturopathic med doc like myself.
There is no doubt that a woman’s learning curve into motherhood is very steep. Not only is the birthing part extermely painful and difficult but from our experience that was just the tip of a marginally large iceberg. And, the only advice I could give people, if I am in a position to give advice on this topic, is that leading up to labour and delivery, try to rest as much as possible. Based on the logistics of a first time pregancy, there is a low probability that any significant amount of sleep following delivery is likely, especially for the new mother. And it’s no wonder this is true, between the adrenaline and attempting to feed and care for this little fragile bundle of human, sleep is a luxury that is rarely afforded.
Early fatherhood, although not as obvious, also comes with a lot of changes, that are, perhaps, a little more subtle. Maybe the most obvious of which for me, is that I am definately no longer the only focus in our new relationship of three. And in fact, how could I be, when all of the attention needs to fall on baby Arlo. Feeding, sleeping, pooping, peeing. And even though I deal (directly and indirectly) with bodily fluids every day, having an infant brings a new sense of meaning to my previous experience. And because I am not a primary part of feeding Arlo, I must say that I am still trying to settle into my every changing role of being a supportive partner, while continuing to practice naturopathic medicine and maintain our little farm on the Sunshine Coast.
In my first month of fatherhood, I can safely say that this new adventure is going to be very dynamic, with many exciting twists and turns in the road, that will require constant learning, patience and love to navigate. Not only will it be partially my responsibility to teach a new human being how to be a critical thinking, envirnmentally concious, social being, I will also be relearning a lot about myself on these first day of the rest of my life.